Meet The Uchiha
by Lafine
Summary: Can someone asked the hand of Uchiha Sasuke's daughter? A story inspired by the movie Meet the Parents& Fockers. More complete summary inside. Sasusaku, Naruhina, Nejiten, OCOC
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I'm only saying it once. Naruto is definitely not mine. There.

Summary: Katsuma is your usual medic-nin in Konoha. He is in a romantic relationship with this very cute girl named Ayame. Therefore he wants to propose to her. And here lies the problem. Had he mention that Ayame's last name is Uchiha?

Kinda AU. In this story, Sasuke doesn't leave Konoha.

**Meet The Uchiha**

By: Lafine

Tachibana Katsuma was in a deep shit.

Of course you can't take that sentence literally because it would be totally disgusting if he was _literally_ in deep shit. No, he was in a _figuratively_ deep shit. But to us, readers, it didn't matter since he was the one in trouble. Let's continue.

What could be troubling the nice lad in the Chuunin vest so much? Perhaps his friend in arm could tell you.

-

Nara Shikatori just raised an eyebrow and snorted before he ambled out from the room and into the hospital corridor, stopping for a moment at the front desk to sign out from the hospital.

-

Or maybe not. Let's just observe then.

It seems that Katsuma was searching frantically for something. He turned every paper, book and tools on top of his table leaving the usually neat space that is his cubicle in chaos.

_Where is it? Where is it? Where is that thing!_ He screamed mentally, his eyes scanning the place with laser intensity. He noticed a glint of light from under the table and immediately dived under to inspect it further, hoping against hope that it was the _thing_ he had been looking for.

And it was. He whooped happily when he secured the precious thing in his hand.

"Katsuma, what are you doing down there?" An inquiring voice asked from somewhere outside the under table.

A loud THWACK, a result when human's skull met hard surface, with an equally loud "OW!" was the response.

"A, Ayame!" Eyes wide in panic, Katsuma shoved his left hand into his pant's pocket quickly and rubbed his sore head with his right hand, all the while looking cutely sheepish in front of his 3 years girlfriend. "Nothing, nothing at all."

Her green eyes crinkling in amusement, Uchiha Ayame smiled. "If you say so." She said good-naturedly. She eyed the bump on her boyfriend's head and her hand reached to him to rub it.

Katsuma gave her another sheepish smile and lowered his hand. Big mistake.

He watched in horror as the _thing_ fell off from his hand. It met the floor in a loud tinkling sound (at least, that's how he heard it) and rolled in the very, very wrong direction. The thing wobbled when it collided with a leather shoe, rendering its journey short.

Two pair of eyes zeroed in at the thing.

"Is that?" Ayame asked uncertainly.

Katsuma had to push the answer from his dry throat. "Yeah." _Stupid, stupid, STUPID me._ _It's not supposed to be like this!_ "So, will you?" He asked with more uncertainty.

One minute passed with deafening silence, their gaze still locked on the thing.

Another medic-nin happened to crash upon the scene. "Hey Tachibaba, do you…" She stopped, took one good look at the situation and hastily left the scene with a swift, "Sorry to disturb."

Katsuma risked a glance when Ayame didn't say anything for another two minutes. Her silence had brutally killed his hope. However, a brilliance smile on Ayame's face revived it again. _Wow, her teeth can compete with Gai-san for the blinding smile award._ "So, do you?"

"Of course!" Ayame yelled, pouncing on her boyfriend and putting him in a tight hug that could put any pro-wrestler into shame. "Of course I'll marry you."

Katsuma smiled happily though his head was yet again collided with the table when she pounced on him. He even forgot to breathe at the sheer happiness he was in. Well, that was until colorful spots started to appear on his sight. "Ayame… need… air." He gasped out.

"Oh, oops." Ayame laughed guiltily, releasing him. Katsuma sucked on the precious oxygen before he grinned. He kissed her and gave her a hug of his own. She whispered to him, "Sorry about that, Katsuma."

"No problem. So when do you want the wedding?" He asked, his figurative self soaring high on the blue sky above.

Ayame's expression went from happy to startled, worried look. "Oh no, I hasn't tell my parents."

Katsuma's figurative self take a plummet into solid earth.

Then Ayame smiled and said something that almost made Katsuma running away. "I know, how about you spend the weekend with my family? You can get to know each other."

Katsuma laughed weakly. "Are you sure I won't be a problem? I don't want to impose on your parent."

"Nonsense." Ayame lectured. "You're going to be my husband and their soon-to-be son in law. They would welcome you happily."

"Well, then, uh, this weekend?" He asked, his tone filled with dread.

Ayame answered, oblivious. "Of course. Ooh, I have to tell them now. You don't mind I tell them now, do you? Alright, see you soon. I'll pick you up on your house tomorrow. Bye."

And she was gone with a poof before Katsuma could protest. The ring was gone with her.

The previous medic-nin came back. "I see you're getting hitched to the famous Uchiha. Good luck, buddy."

Katsuma gave another weak smile. _Luck. Yeah, he's going to need it when he faced Ayame's father. Uchiha Sasuke._

TBC

AN: What do you think? I got this idea when I watched 'Meet The Parents' and 'Meet The Fockers' at my friend's house. Greg is simply a guy with bad luck waiting for him at every corner.

Next "Welcome to the Uchiha's home"


	2. Day 1: Morning

**Meet The Uchiha**

By: Lafine

Day 1: Welcome to The Uchiha's home

Uchiha Sasuke was not happy.

Understandable, really. Imagine this. He just went back from an exhausting ANBU mission, being away from home for almost a month. All he wanted to do was to spend a quiet weekend with his family, training with his youngest son, chatting with his daughter or window-shopping with his wife. Okay, so the last idea wasn't his idea of quiet weekend since Sakura tend to ask Hinata to go with her. And if Hinata was going then Uzumaki Naruto was definitely would be there too. And knowing Naruto for almost 30 years, he knew that his best friend (Sasuke shuddered at this) was NOT someone who enjoys silence.

But Uzumaki Naruto was not the victim of Sasuke's killing thought right now. No, it was someone else. Someone who happened to sit in front of _him_, beside _his_ daughter on the white sofa and chatting with _his_ wife. He kept throwing murderous glare at that someone and was rewarded with sick pleasure when that someone sweated and stuttered.

_HOW DARE A WIMP LIKE HIM PROPOSE TO MY ONLY DAUGHTER!_

Sasuke's eyebrows were almost making a V at that thought. He tapped his fingers impatiently at the glass table, ignoring the warning looks Sakura, his wife, sent him.

"So you're going to spend the weekend here?" Sakura asked happily, being a good host and mother while pretending not to notice her husband disapproval.

Katsuma almost squeaked when Sasuke's glare became even more prominent. "Yes." Ayame squish his hand for a moment to comfort his sizzling nerves and silently urged him to continue. "Ayame thinks it's a good way for us to know each other better as a family."

Screw 'not happy'. Uchiha Sasuke was F-U-R-I-O-U-S.

"And why do you think we will welcome you as a family?" Sasuke's ever monotone voice poured ice, snow and water over the trembling male. Then he added as an after thought. "After all you're just a Chuunin."

"Sasuke!" Sakura gasped at her husband's impolite boldness. "No dinner for you tonight."

"Father!" Ayame gasped at her father's sheer dislike for her fiancée. "Katsuma might be a Chuunin, but he is a good shinobi."

Sasuke scowled when the Uchiha females defended Katsuma who sweat like crazy. Che, a wimp.

Sakura turned to Katsuma, trying to ease the obviously troubled lad. "Don't worry about him, Katsuma-kun. He's only testing you to see if you're suitable to be Ayame's husband."

"Yes, Katsu. Don't worry, father is all bark and no bite." Ayame added. Sasuke looked affronted at his daughter's sentence.

_Hah! Watch him kicks the wimp's butt out of Konoha._

"Ayame, show him the room he's going to sleep in. I already prepared it." Sakura said, smiling, though her eyes spoke different sentence to her daughter: _Out. Now. Before your father chew him._

Ayame caught the code easily. She stood and almost dragged her poor fiancée from the main house's guest room. "Yes, come on, Katsu. You're gonna like that room."

Katsuma stuttered an, "O, okay. Eh, uh, bye, U, Uchiha-san." that made Sakura wondered if Katsuma was related to Hinata, before letting himself being dragged away by Ayame.

With the kids gone, Sakura turned to her husband, giving him a disapproving glare. "Why do you say that to Katsuma-kun, Sasuke? He's a nice boy."

"He's a Chuunin and a wimp to boot." Sasuke snorted. "Ayame deserves a better man than that wimp."

"Sasuke." Sakura frowned. "Katsuma-kun is not a wimp. And what's wrong with being a Chuunin?"

"Sakura. Ayame is a Jounin! On her way to ANBU!" Sasuke protested. "Surely she can find a better man than that guy!"

"Sasuke, you rejected the Hyuuga's proposal last year! And Raito-kun was and still is the ANBU captain." Sakura lifted her eyebrow. "What's your excuse for that, hm?"

"He was too old for her." Sasuke continued his feeble protest.

"By a year!" Sakura almost wished she can pummel her thick-headed husband into the floor. Well, she _could_ pummel him into the floor but one look at his bedraggled ANBU uniform and tired look she resisted the temptation. She sighed. "Just give Katsuma-kun a chance, okay? It's for our daughter's happiness."

Sasuke knew when a battle was lost so he kept quiet, averting his face to scowl at the wall. Sakura accepted the grudging silence as a yes and smiled brilliantly at her husband. "Now, take a bath and I'll prepare lunch. You must be starving, right?"

Sasuke grumbled and trudged to the stairs while Sakura picked his forgotten bag. He stopped at the middle of the climb, turning around to give his wife a questioning glance. "Does that mean I get dinner tonight?"

"If you play nice." Was Sakura's vague answer.

Sasuke scowled again and shoved his hand to his pants, planning to call Naruto for ramen tonight.

"Sorry about that, Katsu." Ayame gave an apologetic look after her shoulder to her fiancée. "Father is really overprotective."

"It's fine, Ayame. I'm more worried about his view of me." Katsuma sighed before he moaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I stuttered back then! I'm sure your father called me wimp inside his head."

"Of course not, Katsu." Little did Ayame know that her father was planning her fiancée's demise in the shower at the same time she said that. "He likes you."

Katsuma didn't bother to say, 'How do _you_ know?' and just gave her a look.

Ayame, being the genius kunoichi she is, amended her sentence. "Oh fine, he WILL like you."

"I wonder about that." Katsuma mumbled.

"Don't worry, Katsu. Even if my plan goes wrong, we still have one trump card."

Katsuma quirked an eyebrow. "And that is?"

"My mother's tears." Ayame grinned. "Father always falls for that one."

Deep down in his heart, Katsuma knew that _that_ might work but it won't save him from the Uchiha leader's wrath. Next thing he knew he might go MIA before his wedding.

And though it was a warm spring day, Katsuma couldn't help but shiver at the thought.

End chap 1

AN: MIA Missing In Action )


	3. Day 1: Noon

AN: Sorry if I didn't give the description of the characters before.

Tachibana Katsuma: Our poor protagonist. He has light brown hair and violet eyes. His personality… well, just imagine Iruka's personality in Kira Yamato's body (from Gundam Seed). Friendly and nice. The kind of guy you will love to have as a friend. He and Ayame are 19 years old.

Uchiha Ayame: Third child. She looks just like Sakura albeit her shoulder-length hair is black. She is the Inner Sakura personified.

Uchiha Sasuke: Same old, same old. Only now he's 42 and has 4 kids. A famous ANBU captain and the head of interrogator team (he replaced Ibiki).

Uchiha Sakura: Now that she quit her ninja life (it's all Sasuke's fault, trying to impregnate her every year), her pink hair was down to her waist and was done in braid. She replaced Tsunade to tutor many medic-nins of Konoha.

Uchiha Sumire: The eldest son. 20 years old. Perfect carbon copy of his father, not as angsty though. He doesn't have to face family massacre in his early life after all. Surprisingly though, he MARRIED Naruto's daughter, who in fact was more like her father than her mother.

Uchiha Tsubaki: The second son, Sumire's twin. Looks like Sasuke but personality wise he is Naruto.

Uchiha Aoi: The youngest son. 10 years old. The only child with dark red hair. Black hair seemed to be the dominant gene. Also have green eyes just like his mother.

**Meet The Uchiha**

By: Lafine

As Konoha's Rokudaime (Sixth Hokage), Uzumaki Naruto had faced many things. From the most serious to the most baffling. There was one time he had to fight in the Konoha x Sound War as the front soldiers. The fact that he was the one who landed the killing blow to Orochimaru always made him proud and squeamish at the same time.

The most baffling event in his life, _he was seriously considering to demote that one memory to be number two_, was when HE had to help Gamabunta's wife lay eggs. Who knows that Gamabunta's wife was bigger than Gamabunta himself. And more ferocious. He would never forget how the female toad almost crushed him for misplacing an egg. Female is scary like that.

But it was nothing compared to this one.

_Did Sasuke, THE Uchiha Sasuke, just asked him to go for ramen! And he's paying! What the world has turned into when he's not looking?_

Naruto blinked. Maybe it was a joke. The person before him might be Kiba using henge to prank him. But the scowl was too sullen to be Kiba.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked inquiringly. "Are you really you?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Even though Naruto was the Hokage, he sure could be a retard sometimes.

"Who else can I be, dobe?" He threw the report scroll just to alleviate some of his anger.

Naruto caught it before it smacked him on the face. "I mean, did you just ask me to go to Ichiraku? For dinner!" He contemplated it for a second. "Did you make Sakura angry again?"

Sasuke glared. "If you don't want to go, just say so." He prepared to leave the room but Naruto hurriedly answered.

"No, no, no. Of course I will. Meet me there at six, okay." Naruto gave Sasuke his famous fox grin and waved happily. "Just don't forget you're paying."

Sasuke would've snorted if it's not undignified.

He exited the room and Naruto leaned back to his chair, thinking out loud on why Sasuke, of all people, would like his company. He knew that he and Sasuke _are_ best friend (though Naruto preferred to face Gamabunta's wife again than to say _that_) but he also knew that Sasuke was the kind of person who treasured silence. Something that wouldn't happen if he, Uzumaki Naruto Hokage extraordinaire, was around. So, why?

Hmm, maybe Ayame-chan gets another suitor.

oOo

As a shinobi, Katsuma learned to read underneath the underneath. But was there any other reason underneath the glare that screamed _'DIE, DIE, DIE! You worthless wimp!' _?

Nope, he didn't think so. And he was NOT being paranoid.

Even if he was scared for his life, Katsuma was doing his best to ignore the multiple glares sent to him. Uchiha Sumire, Ayame's older brother, was mimicking his father and sent him the threatening glare while his twin brother, Uchiha Tsubaki, only sent Katsuma a pitying look. Uchiha Aoi, Ayame's little brother, was the least affected person in the dining room, throwing him one or two interested look.

"Hey, stranger. Pass me the soy sauce." Didn't mean the little red-head doesn't give him a hard time.

Forcing a smile on his face, Katsuma reached for the sauce bottle. Ayame beat him to it. "Watch your mouth, brat," she threw the bottle all the while glaring at her little brother.

Aoi smirked, looking very much like his father, and caught the glass bottle easily. He poured its content on his okonomiyaki smugly. "Whatever you say, sis."

Ayame fumed and skewered her meal with her chopsticks, wishing she could do the same with the males of her family, except Tsubaki-niisan of course. She relayed a silent code to her sister-in-law with her eyes. Hikari, Naruto's daughter AKA the-one-who-leads-her-husband-by-his-nose, glared at said husband. Sumire threw his wife a distinct pout before he ate his food sullenly.

One down. Two to go.

Sakura was a patient woman. She might not be as patient as Hinata in dealing with frustrating, stubborn male but she had her share of them. Sure she loved her husband and willing to do anything to please him. But honestly! There was time when she wished she could tie and whipped him so he would do anything she said.

Wait, that sounded like a SM play. Forget she thought that.

_How about let him suffer without dinner for a week?_ Inner Sakura suggested. 'No, I used that one too often.' Sakura thought back.

Nevertheless, while Sakura was lost in heated debate with her inner self, her husband was free to intimidate his poor soon-to-be son-in-law (he won't be if Sasuke had his way). "So, Tachibana." He drawled, making everyone at the table turned to him. "What is your goal in life?"

Surprised that THE Uchiha Sasuke started a conversation first, Katsuma immediately smiled.

"Please, just call me Katsuma, Sasuke-san." Another glare from Sasuke made Katsuma to falter. "Uh, I want to be a special medic-nin like Sakura-san." He answered Sasuke's question hastily, not wanting to be on Sasuke's bad side (he already was, anyway).

Sakura smiled graciously at Katsuma. "Oh, I'm sure you will become a good medic-nin, Katsuma-kun. If you want, I can lend you some of my scroll."

"Can I?" Katsuma asked hopefully. The prospect of studying new jutsu made him forget of the danger that was Uchiha Sasuke.

"Of course." Sakura gave a mischievous glance towards her daughter. "You and Ayame can make a wonderful team."

Ayame blushed.

"Talking about team." Sasuke interrupted harshly. "I suggest you prepare yourself for the game tomorrow, Tachibana."

Katsuma looked at Sasuke with confusion. Knowing he wouldn't get any answer from the stoic Uchiha, he turned to his girlfriend. "What game?"

"It's a hunting game, Katsuma-kun. The players are divided into two groups and one of the groups will hunt the other. Basically it's like a hide and seeks but we can fight the pursuer if they catch us." Ayame looked ecstatic. "It was a customary game between Uchiha and Uzumaki family, Katsuma. It's been a long time since the last game." She turned her grateful albeit a little confused look at her father and beamed him with a big smile. "That means father is welcoming you to this family."

"No, I'm…" Sakura kicked Sasuke under the table when he about to deny and gave him the 'look'. Sasuke shut up and pouted much like his first son.

"Anyway." Tsubaki chirped, breaking the suffocating threat in the dining room. "If dad doesn't mind, I want to invite Raito and Misa-chan to the game. You know, to change the atmosphere."

To everyone's surprise, Sasuke agreed readily. He never invited other people than Kakashi in their bi-weekly game with the Uzumaki, calling that game as family time. Sakura always gave him a gentle smile, Kakashi would crinkle his lone eye in amusement and Naruto would tease him whenever he acted like a spoiled brat over the topic. They knew how big the meaning of family to Sasuke and they were happy to be classified as a family by the antisocial bastard as Naruto said it.

Inviting Katsuma was one thing since he was Ayame's soon-to-be husband (again, not if Sasuke had his way) but to invite the Hyuuga as well?

"Sasuke, do you feel alright?" Sakura asked concern etched into her emerald green eyes.

"Yeah, dad. Did you hit your head in the last assignment?" Tsubaki asked as well. It was scary to see the younger version of Sasuke scrunched up his nose like Naruto would. "Maybe you should rest for a while."

"I'm fine!" Sasuke scowled.

Everyone went to finish their own meal after that.

oOo

"Mom, do you see dad? I want to show him my new jutsu." Aoi asked from the kitchen's door.

Sakura turned her eyes from the dish to her youngest son then to her daughter-in-law. "Hikari, do you see Sasuke?"

"I saw him and Sumire went outside half an hour ago." Hikari answered. "Sumire said he want to buy a new set of kunai."

"Oh man, I want to hear the plan too." Aoi groaned. Then he remembered who he was talking too.

"A-O-I." Crap, was his immediate thought. "What do you mean with plan?"

Aoi gave her mother an innocent smile. "Nothing, mom. Oh look at the time, I have to meet my friends at the market. Bye, mom. Bye, Hikari-neechan."

And with that, the youngest Uchiha was gone from the kitchen. Sakura and Hikari looked at each other warily.

"You don't think…" Sakura started.

"Knowing them, yes they will." Hikari ended.

Sakura groaned. "Men. They're a headache. Poor Katsuma-kun."

Hikari smiled at her distressed in-law. "Don't worry too much, Sakura-san." That smile turned into a fox grin. "We can make our own plan too."

"I'm all ears." Sakura grinned as well.

Tsubaki almost dropped his bottle of milk when loud giggles resounded in the hall. He looked into the kitchen where the sound came from and almost wish he didn't. Sakura and Hikari plastered their innocent smiles at him but he knew there was something evil about that smile.

"Tsubaki, honey. We need to talk to you." His mother said.

"Um, okay. What is it?" He asked suspiciously.

Their smile turned evil. Tsubaki knew he was toasted, either by his father and older brother for following his mother's plan or by his mother, his sister-in-law AND his little sister if he refused.

He took the lesser of the two evils.

"Glad you decide to choose this side, son." Sakura smirked, not unlike her husband.

"I might be stupid sometimes mom but I'm not insane enough to risk female's wrath." Tsubaki grumbled. He just hoped he had a mission far, far away from Konoha for a long time after the weekend was over. After all, everyone who knew Sasuke for a long time know that he was someone who hold grudge for a long time and Sumire was, as the villager often say, his father's carbon copy.

For the hundredth time in his life he asked God why he wasn't born in the Uzumaki family. Hinata-san wasn't as demanding as his mother and she made a mean miso ramen.

End chapter 3


End file.
